I must be too annoying 4 u.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Randomize
