Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
