yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
