This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
