i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
