True but thats because hes a fetus.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
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He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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