Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
