Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
