I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
