even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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