That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
