I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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