You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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