Plan B is the new Plan A
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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