I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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