Sry I called you an 8
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
