Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize