I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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