I must be too annoying 4 u.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize