Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment