I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter