FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
