god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize