I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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