I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
