I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
