The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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