I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize