I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
