She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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