Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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