I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...