Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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