I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize