so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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