Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
