I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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