she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
