About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
