You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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