I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
