Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
