Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
