On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
