It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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