What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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