You really coming over, don't trick.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
