The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
