There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
