I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
