on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
