At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
