watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
