I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
