Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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