I can tuck mytits in my pants
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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