God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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